{"id":2993,"date":"2026-04-20T09:35:32","date_gmt":"2026-04-20T07:35:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/blog\/mental-load-in-the-home-office-unequal-distribution-of-tasks-burdens-couples\/"},"modified":"2026-04-20T09:50:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-20T07:50:39","slug":"mental-load-in-the-home-office-unequal-distribution-of-tasks-burdens-couples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/en\/blog\/mental-load-in-the-home-office-unequal-distribution-of-tasks-burdens-couples\/","title":{"rendered":"MENTAL LOAD IN THE HOME OFFICE: WHY WOMEN IN PARTICULAR ARE EXHAUSTED"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"2993\" class=\"elementor elementor-2993 elementor-2987\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-251468e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"251468e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-30e5ac4\" data-id=\"30e5ac4\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-26dc28d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"26dc28d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Mental load in the home office affects women and mothers in particular: Invisible responsibility leads to exhaustion, overwhelm and conflicts in relationships. Liebling + Schatz shows why this is the case &#8211; and what really helps couples. <\/p><p><strong>Content:<\/strong><\/p><ul><li><strong>The invisible burden in everyday life<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Why working from home increases the burden<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>The result: exhaustion and conflicts<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Why Mental Load Strains Relationships<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>What really helps couples in the home office<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Conclusion: Take the invisible burden seriously<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p> <\/p><p>Working from home should relieve the burden. No commuting, more time for the family, more flexibility. But for many couples, the opposite is true: Instead of rest and relief, stress, arguments and deep exhaustion often arise, which is often hardly noticed. Women and mothers in particular reach their limits because they bear most of the invisible responsibility \u2013 the so-called <strong>mental load<\/strong>.   <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-803f4e7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"803f4e7\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1e40a25\" data-id=\"1e40a25\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9195909 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"9195909\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The invisible burden in everyday life<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a94a8f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a94a8f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>First, let&#8217;s clarify one thing: What exactly does mental load actually mean?<\/p><p>Mental load means constantly thinking about everything that concerns everyday life. This includes: <\/p><ul><li>Coordinate appointments<\/li><li>Plan shopping<\/li><li>Organize children and their activities<\/li><li>keep an eye on the budget<\/li><\/ul><p>These tasks run permanently in the head and are rarely performed. They exhaust the one who wears them, although they remain invisible from the outside. <\/p><p>In<strong>many partnerships, this responsibility lies primarily with women.<\/strong> <strong>It is not only &#8220;doing&#8221; that counts, but above all thinking, planning and remembering<\/strong>.<\/p><p>Mental load therefore means that women not only act, but keep the entire organization in mind.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-af11b56 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"af11b56\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9e2096a\" data-id=\"9e2096a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3cbc473 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3cbc473\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Why working from home increases the burden<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5025dd9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5025dd9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>What initially sounds like relief quickly becomes a double burden for many women.<\/p><ol><li> <strong> Work and organize at the same time<\/strong><br>In the home office, the boundaries between work and private life become blurred. While professional meetings take place on the laptop, the head thinks at the same time about the laundry, lunch or the doctor&#8217;s appointment of the children. Physically you are present, but mentally everywhere &#8211; this leads to constant overload.  <\/li><li> <strong> Constant availability<\/strong><br>Parcel acceptance, spontaneous requests from the children, small organizational things in the household &#8211; those who work at home are automatically made responsible for additional tasks.<\/li><\/ol><p>These seemingly small tasks add up over weeks and weigh almost exclusively on one person.<\/p><p><strong>3. Unequal perception of work<\/strong><br>A common sentence in couples counseling is: &#8220;Just tell me what you want me to do.&#8221; Although well-intentioned, this sentence shows that the responsibility for thinking remains with the partner. Mental load is therefore not shared, but rather delegated, which increases the load.  <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fd866cb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fd866cb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2><strong>Gender Care Gap: Mental Load Is Demonstrably Unevenly Distributed<\/strong><\/h2><p>Scientific studies also show that this burden is unevenly distributed. A study by the Hans B\u00f6ckler Foundation with over 2,000 respondents shows that women take on the majority of the organization of household and family &#8211; even if both partners work a similar amount. <\/p><p>One central point becomes particularly clear: men and women often perceive the distribution of tasks differently. While many men perceive them as fair, women experience them as unbalanced much more often. <\/p><p>This different perception leads to a growing burden on the one hand, while it is hardly seen on the other. This is exactly where frustration, misunderstandings and conflicts arise. <\/p><p><strong>Mental load is therefore not an individual problem, but a structural imbalance that affects many relationships.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-8cd5232 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"8cd5232\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-cf6c841\" data-id=\"cf6c841\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-452af62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"452af62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The result: exhaustion and conflicts<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e8c70e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7e8c70e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The permanent mental stress affects the body, psyche and relationship. Many women report on: <\/p><ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/en\/blog\/wendy-syndrome-whats-behind-the-relationship-phenomenon\/\">chronic <strong>fatigue<\/strong><\/a><\/li><li>Irritability<\/li><li>the feeling of having to carry everything alone<\/li><\/ul><p>At the same time, men often feel misunderstood, even though they feel they are helping. This creates a cycle of overload, incomprehension and conflict, which insidiously puts a strain on the relationship. <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-231ef99 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"231ef99\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f927a1a\" data-id=\"f927a1a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aa741d3 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"aa741d3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Why Mental Load Strains Relationships<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ac0d8f4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ac0d8f4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Mental load is not just an organizational problem, but an emotional issue. Behind this are: <\/p><ul><li>lack of relief<\/li><li>lack of recognition<\/li><li>lack of eye level<\/li><\/ul><p>If a person keeps everything in mind permanently, an imbalance is created that does not show up immediately, but gradually manifests itself in more arguments about trivialities, <a href=\"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/en\/blog\/living-apart-more-closeness-through-emotional-accessibility\/\"><strong>less closeness<\/strong><\/a> and <strong>increasing emotional distance<\/strong> .<\/p><p>The often heard sentence &#8220;I don&#8217;t think about it&#8221; is honest, but it also means that responsibility is deliberately not taken. Mental load does not depend on talent or personality, but on responsibility. Those who are responsible automatically think of it \u2013 those who are not remain uninvolved.  <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7148bf7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7148bf7\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7444a88\" data-id=\"7444a88\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c24f987 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c24f987\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Tips: What really helps couples in the home office<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-888f0f4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"888f0f4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The solution is not simply to divide up tasks, but <strong>to rethink responsibility<\/strong>.<\/p><ul><li>Instead of saying &#8220;Tell me what to do&#8221;, <u>clear responsibilities<\/u> should be agreed.<\/li><li>One person can take over the <u>complete organization<\/u> of the children&#8217;s appointments, while the other manages the household completely.<\/li><li>It is not only the execution of the tasks that is decisive, but also the <u>thinking along with you<\/u>.<\/li><\/ul><p><strong>Making mental load visible<\/strong><br>A helpful method is to write down everything that is done &#8220;in your head&#8221; every day. This creates understanding on both sides and shows that responsibility lies not only in doing, but also in thinking. <\/p><p><strong>Communicate expectations clearly<\/strong><br>Needs often remain unspoken: &#8220;I would like relief&#8221; or &#8220;I don&#8217;t want to keep an eye on everything alone.&#8221; Clear statements prevent misunderstandings and provide orientation. <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-a63bb9a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a63bb9a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-0bd1822\" data-id=\"0bd1822\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2f610d5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2f610d5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Conclusion: Take the invisible burden seriously<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-eea6143 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"eea6143\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Working from home is not the problem, but makes visible what was already there before: unevenly distributed responsibility. For many women, this means constant tension, mental overload and the feeling of never really being finished. For the relationship, it means a creeping burden that should be taken seriously.  <\/p><p>Who is responsible for &#8220;thinking about it&#8221; in your company? If the answer is unbalanced, this is exactly where the key to change lies. If you notice that you find yourself in these patterns and would like relief, we will be happy to accompany you in finding new solutions together. <a href=\"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/en\/contact\/\"><strong>Contact<\/strong>  <\/a>Feel free to contact us!  <\/p><p> <\/p><p>Would you like to learn more about couples therapy with us? Then feel free to take a look <a href=\"https:\/\/lieblingundschatz.de\/#Leistungen\">here <\/a>. <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e0dfcd0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e0dfcd0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>Photo credit: Unsplash<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mental load in the home office affects women and mothers in particular: Invisible responsibility leads to exhaustion, overwhelm and conflicts in relationships. Liebling + Schatz shows why this is the case &#8211; and what really helps couples. Content: The invisible burden in everyday life Why working from home increases the burden The result: exhaustion and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2994,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[103,105,101,99],"class_list":["post-2993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-unkategorisiert","tag-pairs","tag-partnership","tag-problems","tag-relationship"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Liebling + Schatz &#8212; MENTAL LOAD IN THE HOME OFFICE: WHY WOMEN IN PARTICULAR ARE EXHAUSTED | Paartherapie M\u00fcnchen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Paartherapie, Eheberatung und Familientherapie in M\u00fcnchen: systemische Beratung und Therapie. 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