How do you succeed in establishing a long-term partnership that is still in its infancy ?
A relationship automatically gets worse: Can you learn love?
Do you want to stay together permanently, but have different ideas about your future – from job to family?
How can you deepen and nurture your relationship?
What is the best way to deal with initial conflicts and irritating differences ?
Why does one relationship work while the other fails?
What makes a fulfilling partnership anyway?

Our systemic couples counselling in Munich offers you help for the major challenges of living together.

Do you have a marital problem, a crisis or is your relationship in serious danger due to permanent conflicts?
Are there no or too little space for your personal needs?
As a couple, how do you deal with an unfulfilled desire to have children or with sexual reluctance ?

How do you bring more passion, lightness and friendliness back into the relationship?
How does a destructive argument turn into a constructive debate?
Is it about affair or infidelity for you?

Our systemic counseling from couple to couple helps you to identify the causes of your conflict and develop solutions.

Are you facing a breakup or has one of you already moved out?
To separate – or not? Are you in a stressful ambivalence?
Do you have a feeling of hopelessness?
How can you tell if your relationship is really at an end ?
Separation as parents: How can this be done in a good way?
When is a breakup the right step?

With our many years of experience as systemic consultants, we accompany and support you in this difficult time of possible decisions.

We are there for you - in our practice, but also via Zoom, Skype or telephone.




Training as a systemic individual, couple and family therapist at the DGSF-certified institute IFW. Alternative practitioner for psychotherapy, certificate for working with patchwork families. Further qualifications: e.g. further training seminar with the US couple and sex therapist David Schnarch, parent coaching as well as workshops on mother-daughter constellations and working with the Inner Family System (IFS) with Friederike von Thiedemann. Studied at the Ludwig-Maximilians-University in Munich (Magister Artium). Book author, journalist and former managing director of a media company. Member of the German Association for Youth and Marriage Counselling and the Association of Independent Psychotherapists, Alternative Practitioners for Psychotherapy and Psychological Counsellors e.V.


Studied social psychology and communication science, graduating with a Magister Artium from the Ludwig-Maximilians-University in Munich. Many years of experience as a journalist in management positions and lecturer. Training as a systemic individual, couple and family therapist at the DGSF-certified institute IFW in Munich. Further qualifications: seminars for systemic sex therapy with Brigitte Lämmle at the Miramis Institute in Nuremberg, for trauma and post-traumatic growth with Arnold Retzer, for mindfulness in couples therapy at the International Society for Systemic Therapy (igst) with Ulrich Clement, and for work with couples at the Hans Jellouschek Institute in Freiburg. Also author. Member of the German Society for Men and Health e.V. and the German Society for Sexual Research e.V.





In our practice Liebling + Schatz in Munich’s Lehel district, we advise from couple to couple. We, Birgitt Hölzel and Stefan Ruzas, have been married since 1995 and have been a family with two great daughters since 2002. Mostly happy and by no means always perfect. Which is not possible at all: One of the two is already in the middle of puberty.

We know the ups and downs of partnerships well from previous experiences – from being in love to quarrels to the pain of separation.

As long-time journalists, we have learned to ask questions, listen and understand contexts. As systemic individual, couple and family therapists, we have learned to ask questions in such a way that you discover the right answers and insights as you counsel from couple to couple.

To this day, our guidebook “Highest Mating Season” (Randomhouse) helps couples to give new impetus to their partnership. With desire and passion, we are also involved as moderators, columnists in major magazines as well as in workshops and lectures on the topics of family, relationships and sexuality.

Privately, we love the mountains and traveling as a couple or foursome. Sometimes we race on the road bike. And: We both have a motorcycle license.


The method of systemic work is solution-oriented, helps quickly and is based on simple considerations: Our behavior is always influenced by our environment and the behavior of other people and vice versa. What we do or decide always has an impact on our environment (on you as a couple, in the family).

Possible topics are problems in couple communication, imminent separation, infidelity or affair, lack of understanding for each other, different life plans, constant quarrels in the partnership, existential or professional changes, parenting issues, living apart, new beginnings and second chances, but also sexual reluctance or different erotic preferences as well as crises of meaning and life. Another important issue is the desire to have children. Accusations and feelings of guilt can put a lot of strain on a relationship. We’ll help you get out of this spiral.

If a problem or crisis has arisen in the couple relationship or family, we explore together what the actual origin of it is, what patterns are underlying it and how all parties involved can work out a solution together.

It’s not just about conversations. Our toolbox is filled with many techniques and methods that allow you to experience the insights more directly.

How do we work? Our approach is: Advice from couple to couple. This creates a very special balance. The talks or meetings always take place in groups of four. Your advantage: We give you the female and male perspectives at the same time. For topics that are better worked on in individual sessions, select.

So we offer you:

  • absolute discretion
  • Professional competence
  • Perspectives of women and men
  • up-to-date communication
  • Systemic Couples Therapy

Of course, we advise same-sex couples.
If you wish, we can also work with you in English or Spanish.


Couple Session

from couple to couple
90 minutes
in practice
(optional: zoom)

Intensive Saturday

1 pair
1 day
in practice

Couples Retreat

Generatore d’Amore
3 pairs
1 weekend


We work exclusively by prior appointment and keep the time for the appointment agreed with you exclusively for you.
Cancelled appointments usually cannot be rescheduled in the event of last-minute cancellations. If you are unable to attend a session, we ask you to cancel your appointment early. If the cancellation is made within 36 hours before the agreed date, you will be charged a cancellation fee (see § 615 BGB).

Our Practice

Media coverage

Workshops, Book, Podcast + Question Cards

Bildschirmfoto 2022-04-08 um 11.16.06

Generatore d'Amore

What is the secret to a relaxed relationship? This is a question that many people are asking. Because couple time, sensuality and mutual attention get lost in everyday life, stress and habit over the years. Our weekend retreat GENERATORE D’AMORE in Italy shows what possibilities there are to consciously develop and shape a partnership.
Find out more here!

Liebling und Schatz neugeborenes Baby

Newborn Love

Become parents, stay a couple: Especially for family counselling, maternity clinics and other institutions, we offer expectant and young parents interesting facts for the preservation of the couple relationship at an interactive and entertaining evening event.
Duration: 90 minutes.
Information and dates on request.


Our book

“Highest Mating Season” is our inspiring relationship guide for stressed parents – and anyone who wants to become one. Published by the renowned publishing group Randomhouse. With entertaining stories, therapeutic suggestions and helpful tips on 224 pages. Because opportunity makes love! We still have a few copies of the almost out-of-print edition…

Simply order from us by e-mail.
Price: 10 euros + 3 euros shipping fee.


Podcast on Spotify

In our podcast “On the Couple Level” we talk to our host, the ARD cultural journalist Jan Tussing, about love, separation, sex, conflicts and crises. Our podcast offers informative and entertaining insights into therapeutic work.
Just give it a listen!


The Liebling + Schatz Box

Which motto fits your life? Which of us takes up more space in our relationship? In our Liebling + Schatz Box you will find 69 question cards for couples who want to stay curious about each other. Divided into three categories: Individual level, couple level and parent level. These are questions that couples might never ask themselves, but that they should definitely ask themselves.
More information can be found here!
Price: 33 Euro incl. Shipping costs.

Kontakt Liebling + Schatz

Nehmen Sie Kontakt mit uns auf!

Get in touch with us!