Not the most beautiful time of the year. Around 30 percent of unhappy couples break up after a summer vacation together. Is it impossible to prevent this?
Mrs. Darling says: A large part of our communication as a couple consists of organizing everyday life. Of work and leisure, of children and school, of household and appointments. Darling, do you think about the dentist, the birthday, the mother? Honey, are you taking the car to the MOT, the cake to the party, the child to the sport? The only problem is that holidays are not part of everyday life. We lie on the beach, sit eating and are silent. Or argue. Because we lack common ground and because the estrangement between us suddenly becomes palpable with full force. Therefore, dear women: Don’t wait for the holidays to find out what else connects you with your partner. Talks! Not about organization, but about your relationship and how you’re doing. Even if it’s hard at the beginning and he bucks. Don’t let up. But speak without reproach. Then a holiday can even be a new beginning – and not the end.
Mr. Schatz says: Unless you’re one of the big home entertainers, we guys can be pretty taciturn. What can we say when our sweetheart is constantly overwhelming us with organizational stuff? And on vacation, she goes to every available palm tree because we can’t open our mouths anymore. A lesson learned is a lesson learned. But that’s where our problem begins, men! Always staying out of it is not a solution either. If we don’t like to talk about love and such, we should at least tell our partner what kind of vacation we want. Because negotiated compromises can create new commonalities. Hamburg-based couples therapist Michael Mary writes: “Happy couples have stopped trying to adapt their relationship to their own ideas, instead they adapt to their relationship.” He’s right!
Photo: Unsplash/ Joey Nicotra
